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 Futurists Foresee Self-Cleaning Diaper, Other Technological
Marvels
In the twenty-first century, will
changing diapers be a thing of the past? A report from a panel of researchers,
marketers and science fiction authors says so.
The self-changing diaper is just one of the technological leaps that futurists
predict will make parenting easier and more efficient than ever before.
The futuristic diaper, which environmentalists have championed for years, will
process infants' own waste into electricity to power mobiles, bottle warmers
and other baby needs. And by turning the waste into energy, diapers will never
need to be washed or added to the nation's overflowing landfills.
Among the other breakthroughs, the panel predicted: an interactive car seat
that responds when the child asks how much longer a trip will take; fingerprint
scanners built into toys to determine who was really playing with them first;
and "super-easy" macaroni and cheese that propels itself from the box into
children's mouths.
But one thing all the panelists agreed on is that no technological innovation
will replace the most important single influence on children's lives.
"Television will continue to fill that role," the report states.
Format for Counting Out
Loud Changed to Reflect New Millennium
In a move that's bound to
change the rules of everything from Hide and Seek to touch football, the rules
of counting out loud are being modernized.
For the last thousand years, children have counted seconds aloud by adding the
words "one thousand" between the numbers. Now, with a new millennium dawning,
the rules are being rewritten. Beginning at midnight January 1, children
counting aloud will now be required to say "two thousand" between the numbers,
as in "One, two thousand, two, two thousand, three, two thousand."
Despite the change for children, grown-ups will still be allowed to say the
first few numbers and then make up a total at the end.
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Preschoolers
Name Blues Clues' Steve "Man of the Century"
Citing his pioneering work in unlocking
the mysteries of the universe, preschoolers responding to a nationwide survey
overwhelmingly named Steve, the star of the Blues Clues television program, the
most influential person of the twentieth century.
Preschoolers pointed out that without Steve, many of them would never know that
a basket, food and a blanket combine to form a picnic, for example, or that
drooping sunflowers should be watered. Calling the notes Steve fastidiously
kept in his notebook both "handy" and "dandy," the children said that his
collection of clues and use of deductive reasoning in his "thinking chair" have
furthered the cause of science even more than such luminaries and as Mr. Wizard
and Bill Nye, the Science Guy.
When told of the honor, Steve pretended not to understand what was being said,
in a way that became pretty annoying after a while.
Holiday Headlines:
Nation's Computers
Survive Y2K Bug Unsca*&^ %*#$%@\\ms9999.end
Birth of Second
Child of the Millennium Virtually Ignored
Y2K Bug Makes Kindergarten CD-Rom Even Less Interesting
Class of '00 Feel Like a Bunch of Nothings
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